Daddy’s Lil Girl
I am fortunate to have a step-father since my real father has been absent most of my life. For many many many years, I hated him. (Yes a strong word, but that is the only word I could find to describe my feelings) Well, I have always been a “big” girl and he being a Marine would always find ways to make me feel so insecure about my weight….. Not so much in a mean way.. but just having low self esteem anyways… I felt that he was always trying to attack me. As an adult, he never really discussed my weight anymore and I guess he figured I would deal with it when I was ready.
He would never pay me compliments or say “Good Job” or Keep up the great work with any regards to my decision that I have made for my life. (most of those decisions were bad anyways) So it would always leave me wondering how my Step father truly feels about me. I had not seen my parents in 2.5 years because they live in Hawaii and he is always deployed. I can’t even remember the last time we said “I love you.” Even in phone conversation those words are hardly given by either party.. We know that we love each other; but its usually displayed through silence.
Well, today was different. I had sent my mother pics of my progress. She really wants me to get healthy. I am her oldest daughter and she wants to see me live a productive, fruitful and happy life (and she KNOWS all my weight struggles) She had shown my step dad my pictures…. and to my surprise my very unaffectionate stepdad called me at 8:03pm tonight called and the conversation went like this:
“Hey Josie.. I just wanted to say that I love you.. and I am so proud of you.. and I know that I don’t show it often but know that I am and always have been in your corner.” You look amazing and I AM PROUD OF YOU. ” He had me at I love you and I have been floating on cloud nine since then. Having him say those words mean more to me because i felt like I was Daddy’s lil girl.. and that is a feeling that I have NEVER felt in the past 17 years of me knowing him. A sense of belonging.. and with the path of life that I have been on.. a sense of belonging… truly touches my heart.
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wow your post really brought tears to my eyes! That was so sweet of him and I guess that shows he really does love you and want the best for you regardless of his previous ways of communicating with you! btw you sound as if you are doing great! you go girl!!!!
That is so sweet Josie! I grew up with a step-father too…my biological father died when I was little…and I had a hard time with this “new” guy in my life. He was a retired drill sargeant with the Marines and he was tough, tough, tough to figure out. I didn’t know how he felt about me either until I was grown and he told me how much he loved me and was proud of me. That really is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
You stay on cloud 9 hun. You know now just how much he loves you and maybe that conversation will open the doors to more open expressions of love from both sides.
You’re doing a fabulous job and deserve to be proud of yourself! Take care.
Sometimes it’s hard for people to express their emotions, i’m glad he has found his way through that for you now.
Great job Josie, keep it up!
Oh man girl! You know I am a big crybaby! And that was just awesome! Allit takes is time for God to work on people! Some are more affectionate than others and some can express emotions more! But that was just so beautiful and know that all of your buddies here are so proud of you as well and remember you are beautiful; no matter what anyone says! Keep your head up my beautiful little sis! Love ya VEGAS here we come….lol SMILE Glad your feeling better today and stay way up there on cloud 9 it feels good up there lol!!!
That is so great!!! I am waiting for a similar moment to that with my father. He is military also, and he has always been really hard on me about my weight. He is the one person I haven’t been super vocal about all my weight loss activities and successes to. I am waiting for the day I got to San Antonio and just drop by and look amazing!!! Thats the thing about fathers, I don’t think the realize the damage they can do to us. I mean my dad is a very hard man, he was very mean and hurtful at times, and he says whatever he wants no matter whose heart it may crush, but I really think they do the best they can. I know for a fact he did better than his mom, and maybe someday, if it is in my plan, then I can just try to do better than he did with me. But I am so glad you got your moment!! that is wonderful!!!!!!!! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!
Your post was really moving. I’m glad that you got to hear from your dad himself how proud he is of you. That was probably hard for him to tell you as well.
To Toni, just so you know… Daddy mentioned that he thought it was great that we were working on this so I know you will hear the same one day.
This is beautiful, how wonderful for you!